by tklicka on October 16, 2009

Dear praying friends,

Four days have passed since the Lord called my beloved Home. Three days of mourning, yet rejoicing, remembering many precious moments with our daddy/husband, but knowing many more memories will come flooding in at the oddest times to remind us of both how much we have lost and how rich we are to have been given these moments at all.

In the last four days, I feel like I’ve been bouncing between two worlds–my world with Chris and my new world without him–like when I found myself in Kohls two days ago. After purchasing a new pair of more comfortable shoes (besides the tennis shoes I’ve been wearing everyday for the last several weeks!), I immediately noticed some nice, long-sleeve polo shirts for Chris, only to remember that he doesn’t need them anymore.

Or the other day in Target buying more Emergen-C for the kids and me, and glancing down the shelf at the Magnesium Citrate thinking, “Oh, I better get some more of that for Chris,” only to be shocked back into the reality that he isn’t here to take any more supplements. He certainly doesn’t need them now!

When something funny or newsy happens, more than once I’ve thought, “I’ve got to share this with Chris…oh, I can’t do that anymore.” Then I get teary-eyed and realize I’m only starting to miss talking to the man I’ve spent the last 25 years of my life with, and the road ahead is going to be very long.

God is so intimately acquainted with these moments, however, and is ready to dispense an overflowing measure of His comfort and grace. For me, it so often takes the form of seeing in my mind how gloriously happy Chris is with His Abba Father. Then, somehow, my sorrow is completely engulfed in his joy.

Isn’t this how we are to live as the body of Christ anyway, in the here and now of our earthly existence? Neither denying the brokenness of life in a fallen world, where sin and death have their sway, nor living as though we had no hope or joy, now and in the life to come. I know that if Chris were still here, he would share in my tears, even as, by God’s grace, I can now share in his joy.

And in the most genuine way possible, I am surrounded by brothers and sisters who do share in my sorrow, and in my joy. They are the living, breathing, embracing, serving body of Christ all around me, here in Colorado Springs and back home in Virginia, and all over this land.

Tonight Bob (here in CO Springs still, taking notes and giving moral support) and I had a 2 1/2 hour meeting with Tito, Beth and Scott, along with several couples from our Caregroup (all back home in VA), to discuss the needs and plans of Chris’ Memorial Service. Judy, affectionately named by me as “General Judy”, is overseeing the big picture of this event, which will involve by its completion, hundreds of small but important details. 

In the myriad of items discussed tonight, the one overarching demonstration displayed through all their communications was “faith, expressing itself through love.” This, Paul told the Galatians, was the “only thing that counts.” (Gal. 5:6) They are His hands and feet, His arms and His heart to me and my family–how immensely rich I am!

And before we come together for Chris’ Memorial Service in two weeks, many, many hands will be working in tandem to bring forth a celebration, borne of gratitude for Chris’ life, and of love and worship of our great God.

When we live in the reality of the greatest love ever shown, in Christ Jesus redeeming us for Himself through His shed blood on the cross, this demonstration of faith expressing itself through love is the most natural in the world, and oh, how glorifying it is to Him.

Chris, too, loved His Savior more than anything else. That was why it was so easy for him to love his family and the homeschool community he served for more than 24 years. He was a beautiful expression as well, of Galatians 5:6, and I love him all the more for it.

Living in the wealth of the gospel,
Tracy, for the Klickclan


Previous post:

Next post: