As the second anniversary of my dear Chris’s death arrives tomorrow, I am naturally reflecting. Reflecting on lots of memories in my mind, like a virtual scrapbook lodged in my gray matter, and I’m turning page after page of family celebrations, firsts, events, and times with friends and extended family. Each snapshot has captured a special something in that frozen moment in time, whether it is a goofy smile or belly laugh, a look of anticipation, a flash of awe and wonder, or a moment of tenderness or thanksgiving.
Sometimes—when the subject was unaware my mind was recording the scene—among the mental photos of my family are looks of sadness, anger, anguish, worry, or fear. For how can we escape living in a fallen world? Reflecting in our faces at times is the brokenness of relationships, brokenness in the stuff of life around us, and our struggle at being confronted with the brokenness in our bodies, especially Chris’s the last years of his life.
These too, are moments frozen in time in the snapshots of my mind, none of which are a surprise to the Lord, and all of which are used by His sovereign goodness to reveal His faithful love and care, even when He allows the pain of loss and death.
God is the One who records every moment of our existence into the scrapbooks of our lives. I look back over the snapshots of October 11, 2009, and I’m broken all over again by the remembrance of Chris’s dying body, infection throughout and MS having taken its full course in the shell he was about to break free from.
I also recall experiencing a blanket of peace that not only covered Chris, but all of our family there in Stan and LeeAnn John’s home in Colorado Springs two years ago. The Holy Spirit was, in the very truest sense, our Comforter, as well as the promise behind I Corinthians 15:54-57:
But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, “DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP in victory. O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Truly, for us who celebrate Christ in our hearts, yet live with the reality of death and the remembrance of death every year for the rest of our lives, the promise gives hope and joy and strength—the sting of death IS swallowed up in victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!
I live today and everyday in the good of this truth; I look forward to gaining my eternal reward at just the right time, God’s appointed time, and I press on by the power of God’s Spirit in me. Every page in the virtual scrapbook of my life is building a bigger picture of the glory of Christ.
And I look forward to future pages with thousands more virtual snapshots frozen in time of me and my family. May He be seen in every picture on every page!
…also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory. In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory. ~Ephesians 1:11-14
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I am so sorry for your loss. I continue to pray for your family. Thank you so much for posting this. I am up in the middle of the night with a wide awake baby and you have blessed me with your encouraging words!
Thank you for posting this tribute to Chris. The Lord has used your family as an encouragement to so many hurting people. When I think of you and Chris, I am reminded of Gal 6:9… “Let us not become weary in doing good, for in good time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Thank you, Erin, for your prayers. God is kind to minister to our hearts even in the middle of the night…glad He encouraged yours in the wee hours of the morning!
Thank you for your kind words Suzanne. The Lord Himself has strengthened my heart to press on through this same promise in His Word MANY times!
I just told Jeannie that I love the way your words drip with imagery that carries my mind and my heart into seeing and feeling not only what you’ve gone through and are describing, but also the reflection of God’s light bouncing off the edges of the event, the story – soft edges and hard edges – all reflecting His glory in amazing ways. We too pray that God will enable you to write thousands of more pages that shine His light into hurting hearts that they too may discover the love, comfort, and joy that you have found in Christ. Love & hugs!!
Dear Tracy,
Thank you for keeping up with your updates and encouraging us all with God’s Word. Our family has had Chris and your family on our minds, especially since the two year anniversary of his arrival in heaven came. My loving husband, who also struggles with MS, and has gotten worse since Chris’s departure, asked the other day if I had read your blog lately and how you are doing, so I am on here now and glad to see how the LORD is “working everything out for your good”! :) We continue to keep all of you in our prayers. Your strength and faith(even in your weakest times) is certainly an encouragement to us all! HAVE A GREAT DAY IN THE LORD!
Dear Tracy,
Thank you for keeping up with your updates and encouraging us all with God’s Word. Our family has had Chris and your family on our minds, especially since the two year anniversary of his arrival in heaven came. My loving husband, who also struggles with MS, and has gotten worse since Chris’s departure, asked the other day if I had read your blog lately and how you are doing, so I am on here now and glad to see how the LORD is “working everything out for your good”! :) We continue to keep all of you in our prayers. Your strength and faith(even in your weakest times) is certainly an encouragement to us all! Thank you again! HAVE A GREAT DAY IN THE LORD!