Our Story, Part Two…

by tklicka on April 25, 2012

Dear friends,

So many of you have expressed a desire to hear my story of how God brought Peter and I together. In sharing this, it is my desire to bring glory to God’s dear name, to showcase His intentional love for His children, and to encourage those who are waiting on the Lord to answer their prayers. God is always at work in our lives and hearts as His people; He is never far away or uninvolved. He is always mindful of His perfect wisdom and love for us, giving us always what is best at all times.

It’s easy to say this when things are going well and when I feel His nearness and good gifts. It is much harder to speak these truths when I’m feeling alone, or don’t have as clear a sense of His love and care because I’m in the valley of difficulty. I am ever as committed to believing what is true about God regardless of how I feel, however, so if you are experiencing a particularly challenging day or season, my heart’s desire is that even in this place God has you, you will find comfort and encouragement.

To help you start to get to know Peter, I would like to share our story, as well as what I’ve observed in him since I first met him last June, 2011. Please feel free to read as much or as little as you have time/interest for. I won’t be offended if you don’t read it all, or even any of it. It’s here to help you see how God has been writing this story and publicly give Him glory and praise!

 eHarmony, NOT!

In March, 2011, I signed up for eHarmony’s 10-day free trial at the recommendation of some of my kids—“Come on, mom, you should check eHarmony out.” I’d heard about eHarmony years ago (on a Christian radio station, of all places!), and never thought I would be considering using their matchmaking program! God does have a sense of humor, you know.

Well, with a trust in God that He could and does work through online dating at times. I wasn’t interested in any site that wasn’t openly Christian; neither was I desperate for a husband. My life with Chris was filled with so many blessings (too many to count!), yet because of his disease, I grew to lean on God for so many things Chris could not be or do, that I knew God would always help me, married or not, just as He always has. My heavenly Father is my very best friend, since the first day I came to know my dear Savior, and never, ever, will anyone rival His perfect, soul-satisfying love!

That being said, I do however, have a desire to serve God alongside a lifelong partner where our oneness can actually be used more greatly of the Lord than our individual parts. It is genuinely exciting to see a godly, close-knit couple (who have been married perhaps for many years), contining to celebrate their oneness and God’s goodness to them in how they love each other and serve others for His glory.

After a week on E-Harmony though, I realized I didn’t like it at all (I have a long list of reasons I won’t bore you with here, but I think basically their means of bringing people together is very flawed).

After that negative experience I wasn’t so sure I wanted to try any more online dating sites! Some time later, however, the name Christian Cafe popped into my head. I don’t know where the name came from, as I don’t recall ever hearing the name before. I decided to look into it, fully thinking it was an online business website, like Café Press. To my surprise I discovered that it too, is a Christian dating/matchmaking site.

I Feel Like I’m Invisible…

Even though I thought I was being content in the Lord, I found I missed listening to Chris; this had been a rich aspect of our life together. The silence was deafening at times! Since Chris had passed away, I also missed conversations with brothers in Christ. Most of the relationships I had with brothers in the Lord, all married men, changed when Chris was taken out of the equation. I understood this completely, but I still missed conversing about God and His work in our world with theologically educated and like-minded men.

In the year and a half since God called Chris home, I had met virtually no godly man who even knew I existed. So, after signing up for Christian Café, I found about eight men, all believers who I had a fair amount in common with. Christian Café (CC) identified them as 100% matches with me. After seeing their profiles and pics I thought I might like to get to know them. Peter was one of these men. I put all eight them in a favorites folder, just to keep tabs on their activity on CC.

I didn’t want to be pursuing any of them however, so I didn’t contact any of these men after I signed up, with the exception of one man, who I seemed to have particularly a lot in common with. While I really hoped we could write back and forth, he never answered any of several emails he did read, so after a few weeks of reaching out to him in casual friendship, I gave up. As my kids put it, “Mom, just forget him; he’s not interested in you.” Okay, so I had a lot to learn; I mean, I hadn’t been through this since I was a teenager!

There’s quite a bit more to our story, and while some of you don’t mind reading long stories, I know not everyone has time to read a long story, so I’ll close for now.

There’s more to the story…coming soon!

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