Why Marrying Again is Good…

by tklicka on August 3, 2014

Okay, perhaps I’ve gotten your interest with his title. For those of you who don’t know me, you may be wondering, “What on earth is this woman talking about? Is she promoting divorce and remarriage???

For those who do know me, you’re aware that my marrying again is the result of being widowed in 2009, when my best friend, Chris Klicka, joined the worshiping throng of believers before God’s throne after fighting and finally losing a devastating battle with MS. Truly, my loss, his gain.

Yet, God loves bringing life out of death. Hope out of despondency. Joy out of sorrow. He has done that for me and countless others who have walked through saying goodbye to the love of their life. Did we ever think when we got married in 1984 that we would only have just over 25 years together? No way. But we never get to write the story of our lives. Only God gets to do that.

Holding my husband’s hand the last two weeks of his life, as I remembered both countless precious moments and many tremendously difficult ones, my thoughts would turn to thinking about my family’s future. How was I going to care for and teach my children without my husband by my side? I also wondered how I would provide for them, but I knew God would take care of us, just as He has always taken care of all our needs.

It wasn’t until a year after Chris died that I even thought about my future. Would I ever marry again? Would I want to? What would marriage to someone else—most likely completely different from my husband—look like? I couldn’t even begin to imagine. I only knew that God was already WAY ahead of me. He was charting out my future in His goodness and love, long before I ever got there.

Peter and I met in 2011 under slightly unusual circumstances—online, through a dating site called Christian Café—yet after dating for the next several months, both of us were clearly aware God was bringing us together. And today is our second anniversary already!

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Marrying again…a new chapter of life

When Chris and I married, we were just “kids,” barely out of college, growing up together with our whole life ahead of us, like clean, blank pages of a book, just waiting to be written upon.

Peter and I, on the other hand, have brought our pasts with us into our marriage—his independence and years used to living alone (think peace and quiet, but also rather dull at times!), vs. my busy years raising and teaching seven children, and being a support for Chris in his ministry and with his MS (think loud, crazy, and fun, but also challenging and very difficult at times!)

What has this meant for our marriage, and why is marrying again good?

  • Being married a second time gives you an opportunity to learn how to love someone in a fresh way. Your new spouse has a different set of needs and desires, and you get to learn all over again how to show love in a way that meets their unique needs.
  • Of course, being married again also gives you an opportunity to be loved in a whole new way. Peter’s quiet ways and listening spirit have communicated care in a very different, but very deep way to me on many occasions.
  • God provides you, through your spouse, strengths you didn’t know you needed, and weaknesses He will use to sanctify you and grow you in your faith. Our differences are painful at times, but through Peter, God is stretching me in new ways to see His goodness and grace. It’s sort of like my having to use muscles I’ve never really used before. The more you exercise these unused muscles, however, the easier and less painful it gets.
  • I’m seeing a part of God’s wisdom, creativity, and love I would never have witnessed had I not married again.
  • New experiences and adventures lie ahead to be shared! I am especially looking forward to becoming a grandparent for the first time (of many I hope!) with Peter.
  • In marrying again, I’ve been given a second chance to celebrate little things more, and handle conflict more constructively.
  • In widowhood, you know how desperately you need God. Even though I’m remarried, however, I’m re-learning that I must still depend on God for everything. Widow or not, God has been and always will be my provider. He is the One to whom we should look for everything we need. This is always good for my soul, and I don’t ever want to forget this truth!
  • Being married again reminds us what a gift from the Lord marriage is. It is the primary means of living out the reality of the gospel on a day-to-day basis. We don’t always do it well; we do always have the promise of God’s help for every communication, financial, health, or any other challenge we face. The closer we draw near to Him, the closer we become to each other.

Celebrating two years of marriage with my second husband—my best friend and the love of my life—certainly looks different than my first marriage, but it’s good…all good.

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also lovedyou and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to Godas a fragrant aroma.”            ~Ephesians 5:1

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Get Your Kids Outside this Summer!

by tklicka on June 26, 2014

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My children grew up on a patch of land bordering a 15-acre lake most of their lives. Being a homeschooling family of seven gave us countless opportunities to get outside and soak up God’s creation…right in our own backyard.

Oh, the memories my late husband and I made with our kids in years of summer days and nights…

  • Sitting outside on the swing set, licking creamy, sweet ice cream in a cone (and licking fingers as it melts and drips down their hands) while we watched an osprey or seagull fly over the lake;
  • Listening to peepers’ chirp or bullfrogs belly croak down by the lake in the cool early summer evening;
  • Running down to the garden in the early morning to pick perfectly beautiful snow peas, lettuce, green beans, cukes, zucchini, and tomatoes (the snow peas, eaten right off the vine never made it to the house!);
  • Gliding over the lake in our canoe in the early evening and watching the fish jump
  • Watching, long after the sun set, fireflies dance around the back yard (and just maybe dancing around with them);
  • Gazing up on a calm, muggy night at a spectacular light show of heat lightning in the summer night sky, or laying out our sleeping bags on the deck for our own slumber party under the stars–in both cases, God was the guest of honor AND star of the show.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money or travel very far to give your kids a taste of God’s glory. You just have to slow down, step outside, and watch and listen. You’ll be surprised at how much they notice, and you’ll make some of the very best memories with your kids. I promise.

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Heat lightning, June, 2014; photo credit: Tracy Klicka MacKillop

The more I study nature, the more I stand amazed at the work of the Creator.   -Louis Pasteur, Medicine

 

 

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Thoughts About Being Your Mother…

May 9, 2014

The first time I laid eyes on you, just seconds after your birth, I wondered how I ever lived before you arrived. Thousands of mothers before me have testified to forgetting the pain of childbirth in that moment. I concur. Wholeheartedly. Seeing your rosy pink skin, touchy its softness, smelling that unique baby smell of […]

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You Can Have the Perfect Home School…and Other Myths!

March 7, 2014

I’ve been hearing from several moms lately going through the mid-winter homeschooling blues… “We never have a normal school day!” “My kids are driving me crazy!” “I just wish I didn’t feel so tired (or sick) all the time.” “I can’t teach my children all they need to know; what was I thinking?!” I’ve been […]

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Celebrate National Grammar Day!

March 6, 2014

To all my homeschooling mom friends–today happens to be National Grammar Day. I’m using it as an opportunity to LAUGH! I’ve been grading my kids’ papers for years, and still don’t feel like I totally have the hang of catching all the grammatical errors…I’m still making them myself! I saw this list “How to Write […]

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New Goals for a New Year

January 13, 2014

New Year…new start. Don’t we all want to start with new goals for the New Year? I know I do. I’m a doer. I like making lists. I like checking things off my lists. I’m a I-want-to-do-big-things-for-God kind of person. My temptation at the beginning of a New Year is to DO more, and DO […]

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This is for you dads out there…

October 21, 2013

I have seven children who all loved their dad. Even though he had MS for 15 years before his passing, which meant he couldn’t do a lot of things most “normal” dads can do–throw a football around, teach a child how to ride a bike, walk on the beach, or go hiking–each one of my […]

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Remembering His Cowboy Boots and Great Smile…

October 12, 2013

I have so many images in my mind…thinking back to my college days: a young, energetic, friendly guy with a dashing, sincere smile the light in his eyes when he would talk about America, and freedom and values, and wanting to make a difference in the world his sadness when he spoke of people he […]

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